5 Key Things to Look for in Your Next Mentor
Author: Nicky J. Davies |
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Categories: Business Fast Track
What mentors have you had in your career? Maybe its been a great manager of yours, or a colleague who was willing to listen and guide you through difficult times. Perhaps you found someone outside of the organisation who inspired you. Whoever they were, you just know when you have the right mentor. They understand you sometimes, it seems, better than you understand yourself. They support you when times are tough, challenge you when they see you settle. They give you new frameworks to see things differently and stretch your thinking.
I’ve had great mentors most of my career and business life, and I enjoy mentoring others too. A really good mentor helps you become more of who you already are. Its not about morphing into your mentor. Yes, there is a wealth of experience they can share with you; help you see different perspectives and possibilities you may not have considered, stretching and challenging you while encouraging you at the same time. But ultimately, it’s about you being more of you.
Here are five key things to consider when looking for your next mentor:
1. Have they achieved what it is that you are striving for?
You want someone who has managed to achieve what you are aiming for or have as a stretching goal. It may be running their own business, working at a more senior level, someone who seems to have a great balance in life….. The experience doesn’t have to be in the same field. Sometimes it can be useful to have a mentor from a different field, who looks at things from a different perspective. But you do want someone who is more successful than you in this area so that you can learn from their experience.
2. Are they a good listener?
There’s no point having a mentor that spends most of the time talking at you and telling you what you should do and doesn’t take the time to ask questions to really understand you and what it is you are challenged by. Great mentors are usually great coaches too; they understand that the relationship is about unlocking your potential and the only way to do that is by listening very carefully to what is being said, and what is left unsaid.
3. Will they challenge your limiting beliefs?
It is our beliefs about ourselves and different experiences / situations that get in the way of us achieving what we desire. You want a mentor that has the ability to ‘see’ and challenge what is getting in the way; limiting beliefs, blind spots, negative self-talk, lack of confidence and certainty in own self. A great mentor will challenge your beliefs. This can be uncomfortable but its where maximum learning and growth takes place.
When working in the Middle East I often hear expats say “oh I can’t get a really senior position because I’m an expat and local companies just want Nationals in these positions”. Well I can quickly give many examples of expats I know that are in Senior Director / C-Suite positions, and challenge that belief. Then we often move into the next level of limiting beliefs, which often start with some variation of “I can’t because this is how it is…”.
The last thing you want is a mentor that colludes with your limiting beliefs. Yes, the relationship feels very comfortable, after all they see things the same way you do – it's familiar. But you are not going to get very far in achieving your desires if your current beliefs are keeping you where you currently are.
4. Will they commit and invest time in you?
Some mentoring relationships work well on a ‘just-in-time’ basis; when faced with a challenging situation, you know your mentor will make the time to help you. Other mentoring relationships will be regularly scheduled sessions working on a stretching goal you are looking to achieve.
Whatever the time allocation or agreement is for the relationship, you want to know that your mentor is going to be fully present at the allotted time whether virtually or face to face.
5. Do they care about you and your goals?
Mentoring is a relationship which requires empathy, great listening skills, an ability to challenge as well as support. This comes more easily when your mentor is really interested in you and your goals, and cares about you and whether you achieve them.
Sometimes mentors we have in our own organisations may find this challenging. Their own self-limiting beliefs and concerns may kick in around helping you achieve a promotion for example, and what that might mean for them and maybe colleagues in their own team. Thinking through the possible scenarios and agendas prior to approaching someone in your organisation is important. Many structured mentoring programmes in organisations deliberately place mentees with more senior mentors from very different departments for this particular reason, to ensure there are no conflicting agendas.
So, there you have it, five key things to consider when looking for your next mentor. The right mentor for you has the ability to see things from your perspective, challenge you to do better and achieve your goals, hold you to account for agreed actions, and encourage you throughout to become more of who you already are.
The right mentor can really fast-track your progress to achieving what you desire, sharing some shortcuts from their own experience that you can take advantage of.
As a mentor I learn so much from each and every person I mentor. If you would find it useful to explore how I may be able to help and mentor you with your career goals, then book a FREE Breakthrough Session call with me by clicking on this link: ​Book a Breakthrough Session with Nicky
I look forward to hearing from you, Nicky.