Self-Doubt Kills More Dreams Than Failure Ever Will
Author: Nicky J. Davies |
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Categories: Business Fast Track
"Did you buy the whiteboard?" I asked my client.
"No.
I couldn't decide which room should be my home office.
The walls needed preparing before I put a whiteboard on it.
I didn't have time," was his reply.
All were legitimate-sounding excuses. But all were a lie at the same time too.
What was really going on?
Self-doubt.
Self-doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.
It can show up as a fear of failure, a stream of questions of "what if..."
It can show up as 'imposter syndrome' and a fear of 'being found out.'
It can show up as avoidance, doing everything but that one thing you know you need to do.
The thing is, it can stop us from getting started on things we really want in our lives.
But it's a lopsided perception of the situation; assuming you are going to lose something you want (reputation, success, identity) or assuming you are going to gain something you don't want (failure, criticism, rejection).
There are always two basic possibilities in any situation; success or failure - just like a coin. If you can understand that you are only seeing one possibility, failure, and that success is just as possible, you can start to neutralise the fear
It's a game and requires you to play with your mind and your thoughts because it's our thoughts that create our feelings which we then base our actions on.
Here are 4 ways of blasting through self-doubt to get started:
1. The fastest way I know to change your thoughts is through action. Take a step forward in the direction of what you really want, your goals, dreams and aspirations. Your actions can change your thoughts which in turn change your feelings and before you know it, you are propelled forward and are left wondering why you hadn't done this ages ago!
Courage is what gets you started - confidence comes later!
2. Hang out with people who encourage you. As Jim Rohn said, "We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with." You may need to find a different group of people to support your goals, who will encourage you and praise you.
Join a Mastermind Group where you are with people working on similar goals. Slimming groups use this very principle to help their members successfully lose weight. Business owners often join Business Networking groups for the same reason.
3. Create an Alter Ego for yourself. Act your way into success. What are the traits that you think are needed to be successful with your goal. You can 'borrow' them from others, take them on like putting on a coat and act from that place to move forward. Todd Herman wrote a great book about this with many examples from athletes to artists using this strategy.
The truth is you have all of these traits available to you. You wouldn't be able to 'act' them out if you didn't. But this strategy of creating an Alter Ego that has these traits helps build confidence that you do have these traits and can be successful.
4. Know that you are enough. You are smart enough, talented enough, beautiful enough to achieve your goals. Marisa Peer suggests writing on your mirror, "I am enough" to reinforce this very belief. Nothing is missing - you are more than enough to achieve your goals.
And if it would help to talk through your goals and your vision, and find the right action steps for you to move forward, click on this link to book a call and let's talk. It's free, and I promise it will move you forward, away from self-doubt: