The Secret to Making Lasting Positive Change? Make What is Unfamiliar Feel Familiar
Author: Nicky J. Davies |
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Categories: Mindset
Our brain is wired to keep returning to what feels familiar and to keep rejecting what is unfamiliar. It is trying to keep us safe. But the thing is, the brain doesn’t know good from bad and some of our habits that are very familiar to us, are not good for us – think of smoking or frequently reaching for unhealthy foods to boost your energy!
Sometimes people reject success or love or wealth and it’s because these things are unfamiliar to them, the brain rejects them making achieving them seem ‘hard’ or ‘difficult’. But for someone who has grown up surrounded by these things, achieving success, love or wealth is ‘easy’, ‘effortless’ because the brain accepts them readily and even looks for them, is drawn to them like a magnet – they are traits of their tribe and familiar.
Maybe you are aware that the goals you want are different to what you have experienced in the past. They often are or you would have achieved them by now.
So, what do you do if you recognise that what you want to achieve feels ‘hard’ or ‘difficult’?
Well, you make what is unfamiliar, feel familiar.
When you find yourself thinking / saying “it’s hard”, “it’s difficult”, change your language to “it’s unfamiliar and I can make it familiar”. The way to make something familiar is through repetition. And it becomes easier over time as it becomes more familiar.
Young children do this all the time – think about how many things were initially unfamiliar to you but have become familiar to the point where you don’t even think about it now; eating without getting food stuck in your hair, all over your face; walking without falling over or having to think about how to do it. So many things have become familiar that were once unfamiliar.
Scientists say it can take 10 days to wire a new habit, others say up to 30 days. Consistency is the answer, and soon the new behaviour becomes very familiar.
Roger Bannister managed to run a mile in less than 4 minutes. Everyone thought it was impossible at the time. It was unfamiliar. Roger Bannister made it familiar in his own mind by visualising the timer reading less than 4 minutes each time he ran a mile. Finally in 1954 he did it. In that same year, 8 other athletes achieved the same thing. One year later, more than 50 athletes also ran a mile in less than 4 minutes. What was once unfamiliar had become familiar.
I have a question for you - what is it that you would like to make familiar in your own life?
How about self-belief? Believing in yourself so much that you know you can achieve your goals.
If you really believe in yourself what would you be doing consistently to work towards your goals? Make a point of seeing yourself do these activities, tell yourself you want this, this is exciting, and make sure you do the activities consistently.
I was having a ‘hard’ time of adopting a new marketing strategy for business growth. It felt alien and not something I wanted to do. It felt unfamiliar. But I stuck with it for the past couple of weeks, made it the first thing I did each morning so I could move onto more enjoyable (and familiar) tasks, learned along the way and made slight changes. Now it has become familiar and doesn’t feel hard or something I dread. I actually enjoy it!
I’ve learnt a new skill and it has boosted my self-belief. The same will happen for you too.
Making this simple change will bring so much more achievement in your life. Those goals that once seemed so elusive are closer than you think. Change ‘hard’ or ‘difficult’ into ‘this is just unfamiliar’ and work on making it familiar.
And if you would like some help, book a FREE 60 minute call with me and let’s work on it together.
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