Why Your Mind Can Be Your Worst Enemy When Working Towards Your Goals
Author: Nicky J. Davies |
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Categories: Mindset
Our mind is a fabulous bit of kit. It only does what it thinks we want, usually moving us towards something we find pleasurable and away from things we find painful in order to keep us safe. Now you may think that’s fantastic. But it’s not so great when we want to make a change and embrace new things that we know will take us closer to our goals despite finding them difficult or uncomfortable / painful in some way.
If our mind detects that there is some pain involved in reaching our goal, it is going to steer us away and keep us safe. For example, most people when asked to speak in front of an audience would feel hesitant. The mind would see this as a painful situation, one you don’t enjoy, and could create a situation where you are physically ill and unable to perform, or you do it, but experience panic and anxiety while speaking.
But there are people who love speaking in front of an audience, who are genuinely excited by this. How do they do it? Well, they have a different internal dialogue going on. One where they tell their mind they love it, want it, think its amazing that they get to do this. They CHOOSE to feel excitement rather than fear. The difference that makes THE difference is how they dialogue with themselves.
The language we use when we are talking to ourselves makes all the difference in the world. If you tell yourself an activity is ‘killing’ you, you would rather ‘be dead’ than do this, your mind is going to do everything it can to make sure you don’t do the activity.
I recently caught myself talking to a great friend of mine about how frustrating I found some marketing strategies and realised I was making the whole thing into a big chore – a pain! No wonder I found myself procrastinating when it came to writing!! My mind was doing what it does best, diverting my attention away from something I found ‘painful’. It was protecting me but that wasn’t helping me achieve the actions I know will take me closer to my overall goal.
So how do you change this?
Easy. Change your language.
It’s like updating the software on your computer – update the software that is your mind.
If there are actions that you need to take to achieve the goals you want, make sure the language you use around these actions is focused on wanting it, choosing to do this, seeing yourself as a winner when you take these actions.
Think about athletes. They get up early in the morning and train repeatedly for hours on end no matter what the weather or how they feel. They don’t see this as boring or difficult. They see this action as a choice they have made. They want it, know it brings them closer to their goals, and they see themselves as a winner because they are doing this.
Become aware of the words you use when talking with yourself. Common words that are not helpful are – boring, difficult, ‘killing me’, frustrating. Choose to change them. See the activity as a challenge, an opportunity, and something that you choose because it takes you closer to what you want in your life. If the words you use are to do with fear, remember that the body’s reaction to fear or excitement are the same – your heart beats faster, you have that butterfly feeling in your stomach, maybe sweaty palms. Change fear into excitement – I’m so excited to be doing this, I love this, want this. This is amazing.
Find songs that support your new belief – I often use Nina Simone’s Feeling Good to shift my thinking. What would it be for you? Find something that is powerful and works for you - gets you moving toward rather than away from the actions you need to take to achieve your goals.
What you are doing is re-wiring your beliefs, creating a new belief. It can take between 10 to 21 days to let go of an old belief and take on a new one so be consistent and choose to make this change to your internal dialogue.
You will experience a powerful shift that will truly set you up for success with your goals. Just being aware of this means you are way ahead of others. Your commitment to constantly move forward by doing the things others won’t, will bring about success in your life and be an inspiration to others too.
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